Wednesday, October 28, 2009
So I've never stayed over at camp ever since my finger broke; that's almost 3 weeks now.
The finger's healing up fine, although my bony knuckles seem lost.
Well I realised I haven't worked much of my brain ever since I enlisted. I'm getting a lil slow...and perhaps retarded.
Like retarded speech, with more-than-occasional slurs and I think like a child sometimes I realise.
Must have been those platoon mates in my unit now. Juveniles.
I'm not going to lose myself while in the army.
Break us down just to shape us up again? All I need is some time to refresh my mind and soul.
Which is Now.
I need to connect with myself more.
So where's my Muse?You see, there are so many distractions in the world today, and it seems everything in our lives are distracting us from getting in touch with our hearts and mind.
No one in their free time ever thinks anymore; by thinking I mean the act of in-depth contemplating. People'd rather use their free time to sleep, play or eat.
Even I have unwittingly become a victim of this trend.There's another issue which concerns the 'degradation' of a person's personality. Many of us like to put up an act in front of others; by others I mean superiors, and some of the people you don't like, and with time, the act somehow fuses with the personality.
This trend is gradual, and hardly anyone notices it. Why does it happen?
It happens because the acts are put into place by fear; fear of superiors, fear of the people you loathe finding out and getting back at you.
It's the fear from the depths of your hearts and soul that makes you who you are.
It can make great changes, sometimes drastic, to your character. Fear is a even greater component than peer pressure that affects your actions, and in turn your personality.
However, fear can be a good thing. Now I fear myself turning into one of those fucked-ups, even more than the consequences of offending a fucked-up, so I'm bloody adamant about it.
That's what personality is about; the ability to resist.It's about time I, resist.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
9:13 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Ok, this may sound real uncanny....but I broke my finger on Deepavali.
My friends and I were just talking bout back injuries and hours later there goes my finger. It's now in a cast, and may even need to have an operation.
I'd be out of the platoon most probably, maybe even get a few months status?
Strangely, I've been thinking bout my back pain the past few days and wala! There goes the finger.
Now I'm afraid of whether they'd post me out of my camp, whether I can climb again and whether my hand will have scars.
The silly gal was so sweet today. The sweetest gal in fact. The moment I told you I broke my finger, you rushed down immediately to see me to the hospital.
Thanks for staying over for dinner and watching me sleep, baby. I appreciate much dear.I really do.
It's times like these I really need my gal by my side.
I love You, Darling.Ok, I find it troublesome to type so I'm just gonna stop the post here.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
7:22 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I just wanna apologize to my baby for not taking note of our one year anniversary last week.I'm really sorry, and I hope we can really celebrate in December after your exams.I don't know if my leave is approved yet as there's been a screw-up in the computer-registeration system in camp. But I think it'd most probably be approved, so don't worry.
So yesterday was the real SOC rundown; the last time I did it was in BMT in May, in 5.23 mins. Well the difference this time is that there is a starting 600m run to the first obstacle, instead of BMT's 50m, moreover after the last obstacle (low ramp) there's another 700m run to the finish line.
I told myself I had to be the first, so I did everything in 8.26 mins. Not the fastest in camp yet... but at least the fastest in the platoon.
Well, how I wished She had praised me for being fit instead of calling me short and buff all the time.
I snapped up a few times in camp as I got pissed by some fucked-up platoon mate who thinks he's the fittest, biggest and owns the world.
If anyone were to own the world back in camp, it'd only have to be Me.
I don't ever wanna flock with birds of their type of feather (uneducated shitheads) , I just wanna remain myself.
If I ever have to fear anything other than authority, it'd have to be Me.
You wouldn't like me if I lost control.
None of you would.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
7:29 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
