My hands aren't getting better.It has already been like 5 days?Yet now I still can't scrub my back while bathing properly.My right ear is still swollen,but it'd gotten much better over the days.
I didn't have much to say to Her,all of a sudden out of nowhere,she doesn't really appeal to me that much.I'm back to my old violent Joker tendencies again.
My new hairstyle reinforces my resolutions vividly.I love my mini mohawk man.I think I'm really addicted to EBM man.I idolize
Andy from
Combichrist so much that I wanna be him and even had his hairstyle.I'm also trying to influence a classmate,a very nice gal who is real cute and at least she would bother to try to understand what I'm like and what kinda music scenes I'm into.
This is really cool.School's been ok,haven't been able to do much with sprained arms.Silly me.Workloads are just fine;I can accomodate to it pretty well for the time being.As for my matters on the sensitive issue of liking the opposite sex,I'd just leave it for now.
I don't wanna feel a single shit man.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
8:07 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Nothing's really going really well for me at all these days.My right ear is swollen and I don't know why.I fell off a low ledge(how could I even fall) and sprained both my hands.My glasses were scratched in the process.Luckily I knew how to lend properly,if not my whole back would be injured.I had a gal running tryin not to be late in the hall and she ran at full force and stepped on my lower back.
Bloody.Bloody Hell.
I haven't been going for rockclimbing training,I went Tekong on wednesday for some BMT briefing and to associate myself to the future army camp site.Man,the guns were cool.The guns were lighter than I had expected:a couple of m16s.I felt so powerful while holding the bloody weapon.
I actually pointed it at my classmates and they were like: "You're the next Virginia Tech Killer!",without a doubt I replied "Hell Yeah!"
Don't worry,it wasn't loaded.They could've been dead if it was.
Been spending most of my time on PW.GPP is such an enjoyable task when you have extremely encouraging and cooperative group members.I as the leader,had all the respect I needed from the members,excellent job guys.
Today rockclimbing's at coach's place.I missed the opportunity again due to some IT representative meeting.Cool eh?
There'd be a PT test next week,where they start to filter the members to get only the best rockclimbers.But I fear that my hand sprains won't be able to recover in time.
I've also been checking up on Her,and my good friend told me that I should act fast and grasp any available opportunity.
Hell yeah,don't forget guts and heart is all that I have.Watch me make my first move.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
4:42 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I haven't blogged in a while,all thanks to my devotion to academic work.
I still haven't sort out my thoughts pretty much yet...honestly speaking I didn't really have the time to search my own soul.My moods just ain't the same sitting in front of my computer typing away while compared to the scenario in school.
I bet many of you didn't know that I'd actually found a girl that I like in school now.Ok I know this is gonna get crazy,cause well,I've been eyeing her for pretty long.I do feel kinda shy talking bout it...but most of my closest friends already know this.
I do have a feeling that she kinda likes me too...I would certainly like to approach her and strike off with a mini converstaion one day?I can see her looking in my direction,which can be pretty conspicuous sometimes.
I understand the 'butterflies in your stomach' analogy is a wonderful feeling especially when you see the person you like,but I just can't stand to see my personality stumble upon on a pre-love feeling.
I just feel so wrong at times,cause there's really something telling me not to dwell into such a thing.It can be so risky.I'm not supposed to like anyone in the first place.
Now I ponder on this: does she feel for me?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
3:09 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Been blasting 2 particular songs these few days:
Fallout Boy's This is aint a scene,it's an arms race and
Combichrist's Are You Connected.Oh my gosh.Fallout Boy.Can You imagine worst?But that particular song is just so bloody addictive,just like their
Dance Dance.
Combichrist's song makes me ask myself whether I'm connected to
myself.I've been feeling so numb and lethargic.
I hate the fucking numb feeling.You can practically try to stay wide awake in all the lectures and classes but you feel that your soul just ain't there.Nothing just seems to be going in.I need to find a way to get rid of this dead feeling.
Well,I couldn't agree less that CCA does try to help me forget all the stress.I've noticed that certain things in school ain't going so well.It might just get worst with time.
The snowball effect is what I fear the most now.Everything is just gonna pile at a rate that I wouldn't be able to catch up.
Well,well,well.I've noticed the Virginia Tech Killing's "Phenomenon" despite my hectic schedule.This incident may spark of some new inspiration for me,I'd be so interested to know what had driven the killer to such a stage.I'd found very appalling similarities in the characterisitics of mass murderers.
What makes them different from the others?Their surroundings?Their ideologies?Or even perhaps of a painful past?They are loners.What made them disconnect from their societies?
This can all be linked back to me.What's making me disconnect from my society?What's making me disconnect from myself?
I honestly need some time off for my own reflections.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
3:52 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I hate my family.I loathe it.Yes I fucking do.
Just because of them,I am deprived much as a teenager.To what extent I cannot say;but it sure is gettin on my bloody nerves.
I hate going home nowadays.I need to find another way out of this Hell man.So many bloody things I'm deprived of in life by them.
So many things the other teenagers have yet I don't;the basic amenities require by teenagers I was not even given.The only way now is to work and push myself to the fucking limit.
It's time for My exodus.
To get to what I want,I need to fucking earn it with my own bare hands.So all that I'd lived for would belong to me and me only.
I am the total opposite of my family;I loathe what they believe in,I loathe what they love to eat;I loathe what they like to do;I loathe their mentality.
This is one excruciating pain in my neck.
I have my own targets,I have my own goals.I have my own spirit and my own resolutions.I have my own talents and my own friends.
All I need now is some of my own fucking space.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
5:28 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Hey People,I've made another blogskin again.As a lot of people have been telling me bout my blogskins being scary or even emotional,I've decided to change it.As I missed the Celldweller industrial style,I did the skin out of such inspiration.
I see there're a lot of people taggin my board saying that this blogskin is good,well a special thanks to You,supporters out there hahaz.Well I'm pretty pleased with my blogskin now,at least the theme is 'liquid dreams' and not 'anger'.
I met the others from 1st 3 months yesterday,and I missed them so much.Especially Steffy,Eddy,Si Ying,Lelin and Jojo.We had dinner at some hawker centre,as always hotter than Hell.
Training on Friday was good.The coach made us set our own personal targets for the sets.While PT was in place,all that was ringing in my mind was ''how much do You want it?'' I want
All of it.I want it more than anyone else.
Yes I do.
My friend noticed me always being the 1st sports enthusiast to complete my PT.Practically everyone knows now that I can move swiftly.She even wanted to call me superman.Funny.
I get nicknames of all sorts from everyone.I guess it's just the shapeshifting that I'm capable of.
Well,people,enjoy your stay in my blog,I can't stay for long as I've got tons of work to complete by Mon.Keep my tag runnin'.
Comments are always welcomed.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
2:12 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Oh gosh.My chinese teacher says that I look like the cartoon character Tin-Tin.Especially whenever I smile.The best thing is that she actually said all of this in class!
I find it so amusing.I do find myself an eccentric character sometimes.
No,no,I'm not tryin to sound egoist here,it's just that I happened to be in the limelight.Well,today a 'veteran' physics teacher told me that whenever he sees me,I'd never fail to surprise him with my style.I wore the college tie with the college polo-tee.Nothing much of an amusement,but I do get the 'stares'.Well,I find it very nice,and some gals in my class do share the same sentiments;well there're always the others who are critical about it.
Well,back to Reality(academic work): My PW teacher said that my 1st draft was pretty well planned,but I feel that it isn't as good as it should be.I lack inspiration.I couldn't possibly think of a good way to compose the final submission of my preliminary idea overnight.
Or could I?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
4:02 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
This ain't Me.I used to have lotsa adrenaline rushes and a very strong drive to fuel me,allowing my body to do the much impossible.
Now I'm so much slower compared to last time;my 2.4 km timing increased to 10.26 min when initially it was around 9.20 min.One of my classmates even managed to beat me at this.
I feel tired and lethargic often,I lack my complete drive and I just don't feel myself anymore.I realised that I'm smiling to myself much more often now; this has never been an attribute of my personalities.
I also realised that I've reduced my walking and running speed.Drastically.
The strange thing is,I don't feel emotional nor sad nor depressed.I feel normal.This is leading me to suspect that my surroundings are actually influencing me.This is a bad thing.
It's not that the environment that I'm dwelling in is bad,it's just that I'm slowly losing parts of my personality and in turn my identity would fade gradually.
I lack inspiration too.So the only solution to this problem is to get a brand new resolution.
Here's the Quote of the day: "Ask and it shall be given; Take and it shall be Yours."
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
5:54 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Hey People,I realised that I haven't been updating my blog for quite some time now...been real busy with work and CCA.I had just came back from the Rockclimbing camp held over the weekend.
Man,the physical training was the toughest.I think I'm all buffed up now.
The camp was pretty well planned,everything went along with the schedule.The nightwalk was one of the most significant moments of the camp.The food they provided were of great satisfactory.We even had Macdonald's breakfast today.
Nominees for the various J1 leadership posts were selected.I wasn't in any,as I know it'd be much of a burden in my JC life.It is something that requires full commitment.I'm afraid that I just do not have that sort of spirit yet.
I'm tired and I have loads of work to complete by tomorrow.Oh yes,I'm doing Entertainment for my PW(PI).I seriously contemplate this project as part of my passion for the promotion of the music industry.I love doing projects in my level of playing field.
I am seriously looking forward to beating all my friends in SR academically.I know I sound pretty self-centered,but the truth is that this has come to a point where it's every man for himself.Majority of the people in SR do not practise speaking proper english.I noticed that even the teachers do not do so.It is really appalling to know that.It could really affect my language standards.
I find it quite hard to relate to people sometimes,we're all just different.When you're the odd one out,people will stereotype negatively bout you.Ah,I can't really find someone that have the same or even similar passions as me.All I see and meet is all the typical people.I don't really feel comfortable in that environment,honestly speaking.
Well,here's all.I'm going off to do my work now,if there're a few kind souls out there,please do keep my tagboard runnin'.
Have Fun.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
1:04 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
