Wednesday, January 31, 2007
I laughed so much in school today.The amount of laughter generated could possibly light up a house man.I even joked like hell during the enrichment program at the LT.Gosh,in the end everyone had to suffer a 15 mins of lecture by the discipline master.
Hehehe,he doesn't know that it was Joker.Oh my,we were all laughing at the back,the gals too,I made so much funny noises and jokes.My ex-classmate from secondary school said I haven't changed abit,in fact,I got worst.Even durin chinese lesson,I couldn't control myself.
I got Worst.Worst.Worst.Worst.Funny eh?Oh the irony here is,that I feel so alone nowadays.I haven't been talking to her much.I've also not been sittin next to her much in class.Joker tells me to ignore my emotions,as eventually she won't like me at all,and I'd be on a wild goose chase.
Just like what all the rest of the gals did.I have to kill my emotions.I'm not that silly to let love breed just because I think I need it.Oh dear,I feel the hatred in my veins again.I'm starting to hate the people I like.
Hahaz,I need to find that
book of enlightenment again,the very book that helped suppress my rage for a little while at least.
That'd be all for today.Thank you for your time.Now go and think of the person you like.Visualise where it'd all go eventually;would it really last or is it going to lead you down deeper into the drain?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
1:47 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Tell me whether I'm crazy or daring.I did parkour in school today.I jumped off a ledge from more than half a story high all without hesitating.I did it in school during school hours,and it was in front of so many people.
My friends all dared me to jump.It wasn't such a bad idea.It was quite simple.I was just afraid that I would break the platform as I doubt it could support my weight.It was actually from the second story to the first near the lecture theatres and there was this platform in the middle.Once I decided to do it,I did it with speed;without even hesitating.
Oh well,the gal I like happened to be there(it is not the reason I jumped),and I did it out of an adrenaline rush.She called me crazy.So did the rest of them.The thing is,that it wasn't even high at all.They all think I'm commiting suicide or something.
Gosh these people need to know parkour more man.Seriously.I haven't been practising for a while nowadays.Been busy nowadays,as you can see,with all the CCA and work.I hit the gym today,with a buddy who's into body-building.Man,those guys are strong.I figured out that I'm more speed/running-inclined sort of person.There's a limit to where my arms can take me.
But parkour needs arm strength too.Don't believe me?Check out the new video I've just uploaded in my 'Jukebox' section.You guys can't ever miss it for the world.It is just so cool.I'm learning to jump over high obstacles now without using any hands.Those guys in the compilation video are Crazy.Seriously.Crazy and Daring.
Gym was nice.I really need to build up this skinny bod of mine.It must get me somewhere.Man,I miss rock-climbing training.
Ok so tell me now;am I really daring or just crazy?They reckon it's the latter.Well sometimes I couldn't agree less.Blame it on the pumpin music which have been feeding my adrenaline glands.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
4:16 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Saturday, January 27, 2007
I've just uploaded my blogskin as you can see.It was inspired by
Dope Stars Inc.'s new song:
Can you imagine;from their new album,
Gigahearts.
There's another inspiration for the blogskin.My feelings for this girl.In my class now.I've realised that my feelings have developed for her,with time.Something that I wasn't aware of.
I feel so isolated nowadays.I don't know why.I guess my shapeshiftin frequency is getting worst.I can't even control it.
Hope you guys can relate to me with my new blogskin.That's why there's only one person in the picture;it's some sort of solitary confinement in a world of my imaginations.Do enjoy the song too.
I've been havin too much chocolates lately;starting to have those pimples again.Oh hell.I always feel that my soul's burnin somehow;I feel so hot as if my body's burnin most of the time.
I've decided to represent my class for the SRJC cross country event as I didn't wanna let my potentials go to waste.Today's PE training was fun,we ran at our own pace for 5 km.I ran at my own,without stopping at all,and when I gained enough momentum and adrenaline,I realised that it was getting harder to stop me from being hyper.
Oh well.I came in second today,cause the first guy was a marathon runner that does 20 km without any sweat.
Oh did I mention that I actually made friends with that guy whom I allegedly had a minor grudge with?We had a real talk in the toilet,and I figured out that it was much safer to have another friend rather than an enemy.We even ended up playin soccer together just now.
Somethings are just too unpredictable in life;so the bottomline is,don't ever be too fast to judge.Well,I gotta go now.There's nothing much to blog bout and I'm quite busy nowadays.
See ya guys soon.Keep my tagboard runnin ladies and gentlemen!
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
8:37 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
-Cellog on 26.7.07-We had spent the whole of today laughing at unorthodox jokes.But they sure were funny and dirty.Me and a couple of cool guys.We were joking all the way since the start of the day during the self study period.Gosh it was so funny,the different varieties of jokes.Oh my.
My stomach aches from the fits I can't control.We even sat at the canteen and laughed our way through.Laughin at the top of our voices could you believe!It was sorta a frenzy somehow.There're a couple of funny guys in my class who can't stop laughin for a moment.Everything seems so funny to them,even people's names.Oh my.
They triggered out Joker somehow,triggered out the hysterical side of Joker.Oh hell,it's just so funny.
That guy I was talking bout in my previous post;the annoying guy I showed minimal compassion:he just joined my rock-climbing CCA.How cool's that?He tried talkin to me just now,and I just merely reply him.Anyway,I think he means no harm,and we actually shared a few racist jokes.Oh I just couldn't stop myself from jokin.Everything just seems so funny now,simply euphoric...
Oh by the way,one of my female friends,Xiang Wei,is leaving school today.Officially.She withdrawed.Oh man,I'm quite saddened,cause she is a nice person and she's been with me since day one.Oh dear,the least I could do was to wish her all the best in everything she achieves.Nope,I mean only the best.
She'd be missed by all of us from the OG group.No seriously.Well,that's all for today's Cellog.Man,I really got to stop myself from all the incessant laughin.The guys said the madness will and must continue on Monday.Oh dear,I hope no one overhears us when we tell the jokes,but I doubt it's possible cause we were in the canteen with loads of people around.We were so rowdy but who cares?
Joker is having his regular laughin fits,which is so contagious and it spreads and infects like a virus.Would you care to join him?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
4:44 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Oh my,I haven't been updating my blog for so long.Been pretty busy these few days.Gosh,the days in the JC pasts away so fast.Especially with the hectic schedule of a CCA.Rock-climbing that is.
Now I have a guy in my class wantin to know more of my music.Which is a good thing.I reckon music is a good way to make more friends.At least there is a platform for people of the same taste to start on?
A few days ago there was this ignorant guy who suddenly came up to me and said 'Hi'.Even though I didn't know him at all,I returned the favour with the basic courtesy of sayin 'Hi' back to him.I told myself this guy was pretty weird man.
The time came when he actually followed me outside school a brief moment later and shouted;asking me if the world is falling down.Man,this guy is crazy.I barely know him.Well,some people don't like me being polite to them,and so I said 'You better fuck off right now,you fucking cocksucker.' I gave him the finger to finish things off.He fucked off as quickly as he could.
I've been seein this dickhead around in school,and once again he came up to me sayin that I'm an
EMO guy.He and his group of dickheads.Funny.I showed them all somethin,the finger.
Then one of the dickheads came and pushed me behind my back.All this happened outside the lecture theatre.Lots of people around.Then that guy asked me why I gave the finger.I said,'Fuck you.Why did you push me?'
I told him right in his face that he has no fucking right to push me.He asked me to push him back,I said it wasn't worth dirtyin my hands at all.He asked me to go complain to the teachers being unhappy bout him.Well I said I have no reason to be be scared of anyone.We were actually both quite calm despite the fact that many people were lookin at us.Then my friend just interrupted the conversation.It was a short one,but I was ready to fight anytime.
Some people actually think I'm a person that can get bullied easily.Oh dear,I make sure that they know otherwise.Well,the thing is that the guy actually came up to me on day and apologized?Well,I asked him what was his problem,he said he just wanted to know me.He told me to chill and I did.Well they say it's better to make a friend rather than an enemy.
The gals in my class from the canoe CCA told me that this guy was a bastard who kept annoying everyone.Well,I've found myself some allies against his whole couple of jackasses.But I reckon they don't mean much harm though,they're just tryin to be jackasses.On the other hand,it's always good to have your guard on,and not underestimate anyone.
You'd never know what'll happen.Sometimes the boldest action of all,is inaction.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
11:30 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Captions:Isn't Andy the Combichrist frontman just hot?I'm awaitin the new
Combichrist album titled:
What The Fuck Is Wrong With You?(WTFIWWY).I've heard the album samples:more aggression,more EBM!
Oh gosh,it'd only be released by March.I do feel like buying the album.I seriously do.I do feel my passion going out to support the Industrial scene,and as they say,illegal downloading of music really kills creativity and the artistes.
But they don't even sell industrial albums over here in this shithole,I've browsed from HMV to Tower Records to Johnny Jr.'s,but to no avail of course.Besides,Industrial/EBM is the sound of the underground.Even Trip Hop is?The trip hop artistes over here are so bloody to find.
Damn.Fuckin Damn.On my current playlist now:
Kiss the Blade by
Combichrist and
Deranged Reality by
Pronobozo.Went to watch
Pan's Labyrinth at Shaw yesterday.A freaking waste of my fuckin time.5 people in total,excludin me.Adele,Malcolm,Dorothy,Grace and of course,my buddy Andre.It was more of a fucking war scenario than some twisted fairytale.The bloody monster was so funny,I laughed till my guts hurt when the monster with the eyeballs in its palms.Fucking stupid.It was so funny and everyone was wondering why I was laughin at the top of my lungs.
It's just Joker havin his regular laughin fits,that's all.Nothing to worry bout people.Fret not.Oh WTF,I'm still laughin even now.Now you can guess pretty much why they call me Joker-Woo Hoo!
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
7:48 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I'm an official Trip Hop(electronic hip hop) fanatic! The other industrial/EBM alternative.Gosh is the music pumping!
Rock climbing was cool today,arms are aching as usual again.I'm constantly being bombarded by the masculine image nowadays,all the body building and gym stuff...nowadays the guys are lookin much more buff,and there's no reason for me not to train my bod.
My climbing skills and technique kinda got better today.Constantly trying to grab that bloody piece of rock with all the strength.I gotta push myself more,gotta reinvent myself again.
The Determination;the Sweat;the Pain;the Gain.Be Original- Some'd say Revolution;I'd say Reinvention.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
5:58 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
We're all surrounded and even bombarded by radio-friendly music,as I would call it.Even at the shopping centres and arcades we hear those old speakers blasting the mainstream audio.Come on,people,please dare to try the other stuff.How could you guys ever bear to listen to those stuff all your life?
No insults here,mind you.I'm just trying to promote Industrial/EBM to have people listening to more varieties of music and supporting fresh artists.Well the choice is still yours,You live by your own rules,abide by them and let no one break them.That I truly respect.
Unless You try,You'd never know-Don't ever mix opinions and advices.Never ever do that.Advices can only save your pitiful life,while opinions can only make you lose your stand and esteem.Please do try to differentiate them.Please do yourself this favour.
So,be good and try out the Combichrist video,and all the instructions are all there in my Jukebox.
Enjoy.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
4:42 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Yes,I feel so alive now.Went for the physical training for the rock-climbing club,not much of a kick though,I'm still standin and I can still type.
But nevertheless,I still feel very much alive,and as they say,"everyday above ground is a good day." Gosh I do hope that rock-climbing can really satisfy and feed my adrenaline.
Thanks for the encouragement from my brother and sister left in my tag,words like these I appreciate with the utmost respect too.Thanks,really.
I'm fine now,it was just my bipolar acting up irregularly.It's all alright now.Fret not,brother and sista,sometimes it takes a few golden words to wake me up-
Oh by the way,my current class still can't beat my OG group.I love the OG group man,and I miss it honestly.Classes are formally starting already,so I've decided to seize the day and study.What matters the most is the moment;we are all living for the 'moment' in life.Now after regrettin not doing well for my prelims,I'm not so stupid to make that mistake twice.
Here's a nice quote from a book bout Navy Seals:"
The more you sweat in training,the lesser you'd bleed in combat."
Now it all makes sense eh?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
3:55 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Saturday, January 13, 2007
I know my friends are laughing at me behind my back for not doing well for my prelims.I know the whole world is laughing at me.I can almost hear the laughters now.
There're just so many people who've so many talents out there,be it sports or academic or even musical talents,well this really makes me feel that I'm never good enough and inferior.I don't even know my own potentials?
No,you're wrong,there isn't any open criticism I can't take.It's the hidden type of criticism that I can't stand.When you don't get any criticism right in your face,that doesn't mean there isn't any.
What's the purpose of life for me now?I can't even get the girl that I like,cause she's already taken.You really think that I like to be alone?I tell you,it's under such circumstances that I'm compelled to do so.It's under such circumstances that gave birth to Joker's pugnacious nature.
I don't wanna just study all the way and end up doing what I don't like to do.I see so many rich kids all around school,and those rich and successful kids in the other better schools...this is all makin me blame my parents for not letting me the opportunity to realise my own potentials.I had much of a deprived childhood,and I never related to the kids in kindergarten or primary school.
Countless rejections and lost opportunities,what's still in store for my life?Only now I realise I'm asking myself this question.
Although they say one should never ever give up,I reckon I'd be giving up on the girl that I like as she's already taken and I think she's not interested in me.Yeah,even now I hear Joker's voice,sayin that "Who'd wanna love you?You've got nothing valuable to offer to the girls.You aren't worth a shit."
But I'm not angry with Joker's harsh words,although this is partly because he does it quite often,the sole reason is that it's the truth.I really do not have any valuable attribute to offer.Joker's always been the one who's the strong one guys,not me.
Where's my hope when I really need it?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
8:08 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Attended the lectures,amongst all,History and General Paper were the most interesting.This subjects I reckon I'd do well as I'm letting my passion lead the way.I really like History.
I saw all the other studies already taking out their books/notes and studying while we were still happily playing cards.I think it's really time to get serious.
Oh and by the way,I modified my previous blogskin into this spacey one which comes in a package with
Celldweller's own little world(zero apostle trance mix),hope you guys find the song fits and find the blogskin unique.I like the picture alot,it always gets me into a euphoric frenzy.
Once again,comments are welcome on my tagboard.Do feel free to let out your inner thoughts bout my life and my blog.
Bye and be good for now-
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
10:50 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I have lots of people wishin me happy birthday,friends from my secondary school and my current JC.It was too sweet as I didn't expect them to even remember my birthday...usually no one does,so this time I'm really touched.
She gave me a present,although the present wasn't really what I had expected,but it is the thought that counts.I'm not really used to having so many people celebrating my birthday with me,as to me,my birthday doesn't really worth anything much.
Thanks for everything guys,I really do appreciate it.Today was CCA recuitment day,I have decided to join rock-climbing(to improve on parkour and arm strength),track and field(to improve my running stamina) and music society(to learn keyboard and record songs like Klayton).These are the things that I am really interested in.
I will try even harder to improve myself in every aspect and love myself even more.I kinda hate myself sometimes.That Hatred should be gone permanently.Even though there might be countless,inevitable failures in life,I won't ever give up on the things I really want and I'd put my heart into it,if I still had one.
Gosh,guess what I'm reading now?I'm reading up on the quotes on self confidence and love while my parents are quarreling outside.You know,my music can really drown their loud voices.Especially the music of
Celldweller,his music keeps me going and soothes me very much...
Here's a good and simple quote:"
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
2:56 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Friday was the best.I love the college dance cause of someone.I'm too shy to say it out loud here in my blog...cause she may visit my blog too.
Gosh our orientation group performed the best skit,with me acting as 'Captain Jack.S' hahaz,we made it sound like captain 'jackass'.But unfortunately,our group won 1st runner up only.We should've won 1st!Oh damn.
The prize?Sweets!Hell loads of Candy!Lollipops,fizzy cola lemon sweets etc...I just took packets of sweets and threw them all over the canteen over my orientaion group shoutin:"It's raining Sweets,hallelujah!"
Gosh we ended the orientation programme at round 9 pm with cheers and all.I still find the college dance the best...it was so sweet.I can just smile all day long and forget the hate completely.
I can't wait to play soccer with the guys tomorrow,can't wait to chat with the gals again,can't even wait to see...oh you know what I mean.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
9:40 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Oh gosh,what a day in JC man.It was pretty boring with all the damn long-winded talks that lasted for hours and they got me really restless?
The instructors were quite nice,though they were so uncertain bout the activities.Especially this gal instructor who brought me to the site of the rock-climbing wall and talked to me quite alot.She was kinda cute and nice.
Hmm,it was quite ok with the presence of other female students,I felt quite comfortable...till one gal caught my eye.She was a fair,pretty-attractive girl who had a sweet smile,and the thing is I caught her lookin at me several times during the day.But I can't be certain that she was lookin at me all the time cause she could be lookin at something else in my direction?
One thing I'm sure of,she looked at me very often even when I'm not aware cause I caught her lookin in my direction when I accidentally glanced around in her direction.
Gosh.Gosh.Gosh.Now it depends all on me;whether I would rather be a soft-hearted,sentimental guy or a hard-hearted,hardcore,full of guts kinda guy with all the attitude and balls?Well I can really be both...and I'm not sure which appeals more to people.I hope Day 2 in JC tomorrow would be more fun cause it'd be all fun and ice-breaking games.Perhaps then I would get to interact with that gal...and strengthen the bond with the guy friends.Man,I made many guy friends from my group,and we all broke the ice so fast?
So which side of Me appeals to You?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
4:41 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
School's starting soon,in fact,it's just tomorrow.
I wonder how is JC gonna be tomorrow.I guess it'd be chaotic on the first day,and I don't even know how to get there.And I'm very unsure bout what my personality will be tomorrow.I will tend to shapeshift at unnatural frequency.
I found a current theme for my upcoming blogskin:it will be focused more on the terrorism/war/industrial-military genre.Well,part of my inspiration went to Saddam Hussein's execution just a few days ago and the other part to my faithful dedication to industrial music.I found Saddam being such a strong guy.He is one tough person.He didn't even need a hood while he was being hanged.The best part were his last words to the executioner and the world: "
I'm not afraid of anyone." He did not attempt to put up any struggle,nor even a frown.He just didn't show any of his emotions(well I guess he didn't have any while he killed thousands).
Well,this incident of Saddam's death just sparked me off.It sort of resurrected the quote which just got deeply etched in my head:
Ever to die standing,never to live on your knees.So this new year's resolution,I hope to be even stronger both mentally and physically...and never ever have to succumb to my emotions.I would also wanna have a much tougher control over all my emotions,and also the control over my personalities so that I can shapeshift with ease.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
7:56 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Captions:Isn't Andy the Combichrist frontman just hot?
