I strive to Burn and the Flame returns-

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I hope you guys like my new blogksin.The theme is 'frozen'.I got inspired by the song 'Frozen' by Celldweller and I am also in a sort of frozen state of mind.So,here it is.Hope you guys enjoy.

Don't forget to drop your comments into my tagboard.I'd love criticism,but not mere nonsensical bullshit.Hope you guys enjoy the song too.It's Frozen by my favourite band Celldweller of course.But I may also change the song to something else...if I get sick of it one day,cause Celldweller has got so many good songs I do not know which ones to choose.Hahaz.

[What that doesn't kill you,only makes you stronger.The moral?Make sure your foes die;if you don't,they may come back one day.]

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

8:18 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Sunday, November 26, 2006

There had been an extreme twist of events recently.I just found out the true reason my ex galfriend broke up with me.She was migrating.

I was in a state of perpetual shock when I heard this.The first thing I felt was heartbreak,even though I'm not supposed to feel anything.I feel like a fool now.

Why didn't she tell me bout it?You know,if I were her,the first person I'd tell is my boyfriend.Cause he's your loved one.But she kept me in the dark for such a long time?And the other time I asked her what was wrong when she was beginning to shy from my touch...she didn't wanna say.

I was kept in the dark for so long.She was so silly;We were so silly.She should've told me...then at least we could still be close,and perhaps end our love in a better way...but now it's really too late to switchback.

She's already gone from here.Period.

I do not want to feel anything right now.But all the love songs I have are on my playlist.Songs by Sonata Arctica,Audioslave,Skillet,Flaw and etc.

Once those people you truly love were moving bodies,
now when all your hearts break,
they turn to dust in over a night's time,
there's nothing you could do,
no amount of tears nor sorries can drown the sorrow...

Now you question who I am,
who I am inside.
Now there's nothing left to hide.
So here it goes, this is my letter.

Hope you're alright,it's been rough for me.Thinking bout you all night,about the places I'd be,if I maybe,still lived for more,you might of let me,become a man for sure.And if I might,express one concern.It seems an issue,all day in every turn.What's the next step?Who lays trouble in my life?What's next for me to learn?

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

6:35 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Captions:Every picture I upload here is reference to what I'm feeling right now.Right now I just want to have a beautiful home to share my life with a special loved one.You notice there isn't anyone in the picture,it means that the people living in it matters the most.How nice is this place,if you could share it with your Love?

I was full of guts the past few days man.Really was.Every 7-11 I see is a 'candy' house.Damn.

Me and my buddy were like at town by 7.Then I saw a couple of police men outside the Cheers at Cineleisure.They were casually asking for the people's IC.Whoever came out of the store.I wonder was it the other day.I smiled to myself as I walked past.All the evidence is in my stomach.

My buddy was bloody thirsty after dinner.He asked me for a coke,but I went into 7-11 and came out with a Jack Daniels.Hahaz.So funny,but he couldn't drink as he had some sport stuff going on the next day...so I finished 3/4 of it.While walking in the streets holding the alcohol.I bet those apathetic people on the streets didn't even know it was booze.They thought it was coke.Hahaz.What amusement.It was around 8pm.

I love Jack Daniels.I think I'm addicted man.Actually went to play pool then the side effects came.I was getting hyper.Hahaz.I didn't even feel like playing pool man.Next stop:the 7-11 at Far East Plaza.There were 2 7-11s.Oh bugga.

Then there goes a chocolate bar.I love chocolates,but I realised that I didn't have anyone special to share it with...then I felt so lonely all of a sudden.I saw many many couples infesting the place...then I felt inferior...then I thought of Her.It hurts once again.

I just felt like crying.Not even my guts can help me.I actually still had alot of her saved messages;those sweet messages that melted my heart...who would've thought they were all sweet...Lies?I wonder who is she with now...probably with some other guy.We haven't been contacting each other ever since that day.

I made a choice,that I regret...
A painful picture,I can't forget...
Now what I see,is what I get...
It's too late to look back...
There's got no way to Switchback.

I'd never be the same.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

6:42 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Captions:Can you spot me?

Finally Graduation night came...the night we've all been looking forward to.

The ManHunt was great man!Awesome.Totally.All the dancing and coordinations went super well,even better than our practices.

I finally got to be Klayton for a day!Had my hair styled nicely and straighten,wore a pretty nice suit and formal wear.When I eventually sang 'Tragedy',everyone from my class cheered??They actually all stood up and cheered for me??I was very touched.

They all said I sang the best,I should be the one thanking them for for their support!I just put all my heart into the singing cause 4SA rocks man,it's the best class ever.By the way,one of my friends got called up on stage for his prominent dressing and he actually kissed my teacher!Lol,it was so funny.

The school spirit is the strongest ever yesterday night!Everyone was damn high,even my teachers cheered for me?

Oh it doesn't really matter if I didn't win the Mr.Manhunt,like they say,it's the support that matters.Thank you all my buddies for voting for me!Thanks guys!I love you guys!Although I was only the top six of the 11 contestants,nonetheless,I won the 'Mr personality' prize hahaz.Good enough.

We went to Dhoby afterwards,and tried all the clubs and pubs,all can't cause we're underage.Bad situation.In the end we ended at 7-11 and all the way booze!Hahaz...and I did something daring in the 7-11s.All of them.Hahaz,it was so fun.

Just exactly how many 7-11s are there from Mohamed sultan to newton?Check it out yourself.By the way,Long Island and Jack Daniels kinda rock.Those people in the streets were all lookin at us dressed in formal wear and holding beer bottles.How cool is that?

We also did something real daring but stupid.We actually lie in the middle of the wide road in Orchard and took the picture above.Cool eh?I don't think anyone has ever done this before hahaz.We could've got killed cause we were all have drunk!

Gosh my secondary school life would be like fingerprints on my heart.It will never fade...Ever.I'm sure my school spirit is strengthened by a fantastic graduation night..boy you think I'm ever gonna forget the school?No way in Hell.

This has been a case of Extreme Euphoria.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

8:56 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Captions:The other night at Marina;surprisingly this was one of my friend's dream:the Amazing Race.I'm the one in the grey t-shirt.

The Manhunt training for graduation night was hilarious.Ah I finally decided to sing.The song I chose?

Tragedy by Celldweller.That's the only industrial song that is sing-able and I find that the tune really suits the whole ambience on that night.I also can relate alot to the song...cause it's sort of my break up song.So yeah.The judges,who are of the older generation would definitely know this original single by the Bee Gees;I would show them Klayton's excellent remix,and make Industrial known to Everyone.

Was hoping to get the instrumental version but it's all up to my friend.I hope I can perform like Klayton man,hahaz.Initially I had thought of a 'Freddy vs Jason' skit for the talent time,but I reckoned that it'd only make things harder for me as there would be judges and sponsors.No making a fool out of ourselves please.

Well,it's all up to my friends votes...and all of the contestants would get prizes.I had also came up with a good idea for my costume.It's easy to make and hassle-free.Everything will go well,I believe.

The next Mr. Manhunt:Joker.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

3:51 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Captions:The Combichrist Fanatic!

Damn,I haven't prepared anything for the graduation dinner on Thursday.A talent is needed and a nice suit is a must.Bloody Manhunt is gonna make me go all embarrassed all night.

I've got no talents.I can't do parkour there can I?I don't listen or sing pop songs,play any instruments or anything.Damn it.Agility and Craziness doesn't really help here,I'd be performing in front of the principle.Oh bugger.

That bloody ManHunt's gonna hunt me down real bad man,literally.A skit would be good...but who's gonna act with me?What's the theme?

Ah,I think I'm just gonna be myself on that night.The songs I indulge in also doesnt appeal to anyone.Oh wait,I can do a crappy dance to entertain people right?Or at least amuse them.Circus acts?I don't know any.

How bout Jokes?Joker can tell jokes right?But he's afraid that the others won't find the jokes funny...especially the teachers?

I'm officially ManHunted.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

7:55 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I got screwed by the Amaths paper yesterday.I actually know how to do the questions,but there just ain't enough time.As for Chemistry,I think I'd pass.

After the papers,there was instant Euphoria.Gosh it felt so great.Then a couple of my friends had planned to go have steamboat at marina south.Right after the paper I went out the hall and pushed the bloody big whiteboard bearin the places of our exam seating arrangements in the hall.It fell with a huge clash,and I think the discipline master saw me.

But who gives a Fuck?I don't,as far as I'm concerned,he ain't never gonna catch me.

I then went all the way home to change and meet the rest in an hour's time.I thought I was late but I managed to meet the rest at a cabin by coincidence.Boy,was luck on my side.

The steamboat rocks.We all had a good time(cause of some people doing silly stuff like my friend who tried to boil a hard boiled egg in a steamboat)and certainly had great laughs while we were all telling jokes.Gosh,my laughin fits acted up again and I couldn't stop.It got contagious and everyone was laughing.I guess everyone needs Joker sometimes eh?

We went bowling afterwards,and I got cheated by the stupid house of the dead arcade game.It was crap.We then left the place at approximately 10.30 when I decided we should walk to the MRT station at suntec.

It was really dark and my friends were so scared.But nevertheless,I lead the way.I think we walked more than 5 km to reach our destination.It was cool,the air was crisp and cold.I felt an adrenaline rush again.I just couldn't stop my legs from walking fast...and all my friends were complaining;as usual.

Slowpokes,but at least they were on with me.I'm grateful for that.But the thing missing is obstacles,I just felt the need for speed and agility.The need for Parkour.

Gosh the 'training' was so fun,and we even got to cross a highway.Hahaz.Gosh,I can't wait to go night cycling with my friends man,it'd be alot fun.

I reached home at bout 12,and all my friends were so tired.I was the only one who felt extremely energetic and hyper.I couldn't really sleep last night,I was still sweatin even in my air con room.

Well,you've to admit that Agility and Craziness is My Forte.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

8:42 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I guess this is it-The Final act;the Final lap;the Final frontier.It's all gonna be over in just a day.How fast is it?

I saw Her nick on msn,it stated:''I miss you already,I try to put up with a smile,wanting you to notice me.''

Instantly I felt angry.I feel all my blood gushing through my veins.Or perhaps it wasn't meant for me?Is she lookin for me to initiate something to touch her emotionally?

Well,one more day and it's official over,all the burden is gone....and I will be let loose.I would feel more like a God.All hell will break lose as usual.

Observe me man,this is the Final Act.

[If you feel sometimes we're falling
Like we're falling away
I would not blame you
While you flow through my veins
Well we pay the price we pay
Kill tomorrow;yesterday.]

[Leave it all behind it's time to walk away
A predator has a tendency to stalk their prey
With the dawning sun awakes another day
Desire that's required to play another game
Make you want to fly
Blame (will point the finger), shed (some light on fault)
Around (these memories), we (will build our wall)
Install (instant karma), start (restoring all)
Focus (on the rise), and (ignore the fall)]

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

11:50 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Captions:Just like Mushroomhead;It always bleeds but never shows.

Nowadays I keep hearing this small little voice...It's a soft voice,and it sounds very much like mine.It kept sayin that I don't deserve to be loved,and also that I won't ever make any true friends ever in my life and that everyone hates me.

I can't get it out of my head now...I just wanna go back to my cell and be far away from everyone...from the world.The air I'm breathing now isn't mine at all.I feel so in debt.I feel quite empty inside.Apart from the voice I hear.

I then asked this voice:Am I alone?Is there anyone out there like me?Have the similar interests and attributes as me?Would they ever accept me if they were to exist?

I feel so isolated in this world.No friends,no party,no nothing.I can't do anything to make myself feel 'in'.My world is really shrinking.The thoughts in my head are going round and round in circles,eventually the circles will shrink...and I will just burn out.

Now I just hope my Bipolar disorder would go away as soon as possible...it's the depression mood now.I'm feeling more tired often nowadays,and I feel my drive that I need for my exams slowly fading away.I need it alot.It keeps me strong.

Now the voice inside is asking me this:Does my existance matter?

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

10:55 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Friday, November 10, 2006

Damn my Emaths paper 2 exam today.Fuck.I screwed some of it up,I was blinded like fuck.I actually didn't read the Instructions,for fuck's sake!

I missed,I missed I missed.There goes my potential A1.

Ah damn.Biology wasn't easy either.The questions were all so foreign and this is the first time a graph needed to be drawn in a Biology paper.Could You believe?

I think I'm going crazy over Combichrist now...Frontman Andy Lepalgua is a total immortal.Both Mushroomhead and them have almost the same Anarchy-Military-Fuck care kinda image that suits me.Both of them and I also have something in common.

That's right,BloodLust.

Well,they say you can't hit or miss all in anything you do.

I guess I'm still in range.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

3:06 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Captions:Brucie Lee,another one of my idols;I love his self discipline.

We ended it over a telephone call today.She ended it.Well I guess I was quite prepared for it.The strong spirit comes to good use now huh?

I only got stronger,and I don't feel a thing now...all that I can think of now is beating those people who're also taking the O level's in the face.

I only have one shot;one opportunity;one moment to seize everything that I ever wanted.Do you think I will give up now?

Today's English paper was Hit.Jackpot Everybody!Gosh I'm confident that hit the bullseye straight this time.I feel like a God now.

Gosh Gosh Gosh.

One more barrier to my goals down.Now that she's gone,I feel my life with one less parasite.Distract me from my goals?

Not that easy.Well,you can ask those before you.If you know what it means.

Lust doesn't really work on me either.Now I'm never more determined to do well,the time has come,the drive is getting stronger.

Well,I swore I won't ever date a gal twice.But I still believe in true love,not going to let anyone change my perspectives.

It's now up to another gal to change my heart back to flesh from stone.But now's not the time.Now is only the time to let me prove myself,the only time that I can be an immortal.

I won't stop at nothing now,and I already said,even if it takes my soul.

As they all say,there're no great rewards without great sacrifices,and I'm so glad I made the right decision to sacrifice You,honey.

Welcome to your Playground,Joker...this is where you belong and you were made for this.

[Time to Reload-]

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

9:38 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Monday, November 06, 2006

Damn it.I missed the Social studies paper.Damn.

The source based questions were hard man.Gosh.I was hoping to gun this paper down real good man.But I won't let this affect me mentally.

It won't be this easy.Now my drive is beginning to consume me.I can still take the pain from everything.Friends.Her.Family.You know what I mean.I'm letting my blood flow.

The Killer's mentality.Cold;Callous;not letting the other's opinions affect his well being;practically not much of humane emotions left;pain is nothing in his vocabulary;being set out to kill.

I'm not going to miss the bullseye again.Even if it takes my Soul.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

1:23 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Friday, November 03, 2006

I've been thinking of the mega-cities in the distant future;or should I say,dreaming?

I'm also feeling quite euphoric nowadays.Dope stars Inc.'s music never fails to make me feel beautiful and wanted...It makes me wanna dance.Especially their Vyperpunk.Gosh.

[We're all Beautiful.So are You.]

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

10:25 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-