Ok.
I realised that there're alot of people who're depressed some way or another even though they don't show it on their faces.
More often than not, they choose to hide it rather than solve the root of the problem. Or maybe they just don't have the other side to bring them out of hell exactly, which I strongly consider it as a gift.
I can understand.Hahahahaz.
Cut to the chase, it simply means that Emo-ness has engulfed the world and Joker needs to Save the Day, again!!I'm clearly not the hero-type as all of you can see...but this time maybe I could help.
Just maybe.I didn't know my blog was this popular, and there're many readers out there who're afraid to tag...well, let Joker welcome you with a warm heart...as you can recall...I said that if it ever gets too tough out there...there'll always be a place for you here.
I meant it.There're also other people who think that I'm crazy. But doesn't it puzzle you that most of my words actually...make sense?
You know, you don't have to be crazy to understand all these...but it helps!I'd tell you why some of you don't understand and why some do: it's simply because you people haven't been through
that much in your lives yet.
Well, there's still lots of time...no hurry; life's just like one big road and we're the ones driving and racing, so, at some point or another, accidents
do happen.
By then, I would love to see how all of you survive.Well, on the lighter note, regardless of whether you think I'm crazy or not, I accept all forms of criticism in my blog.
I'm very unanimous hahahaz!So, feel free to tag, comment or criticise.
Oh, for those of you who always think that your lives're perfect, take things for granted or even exhibit the slightest bit of apathy, you'd better change your mentalities. It's
always good to have a backup plan.
Cause, when shit hits you, it hits you.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
7:25 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Accident today.
I look like some stroke-stricken dude with a semi-unevenly shaved head who'd just undergone a major head operation.
This is the worst haircut anyone could possibly have.Ever.Looks like this time I really got shaved.Bloody barber.
I'm really really pissed.My rants aside, I'm currently into
Das Ich's Desillat remix by
VNV Nation. Industrial in german never sounded this good.
Well. anyone interested should try it on youtube. This is seriously some good shit.
I checked out S'pore's DJ X Ho's band profile on myspace (I'm pretty surprised that he has a myspace), and guess what? He's bloody anti-s'pore. Anti-government. Possibly anti-christ and anti-LKY too.
Damn, his songs are freaky. Who the hell mixes death metal with cantonese lyrics?Saw something fucking disgusting. He actually posted nude photos of himself on his own website.
WTF.
That's some gay shit.
He even had a song bout LKY.
Double WTF.
I'm still raging inside.
If there's one thing I can't kill right now, it's gonna be boredom.
I could really do with something to vent my anger on.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
8:42 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Saturday, August 23, 2008
It's battle after battle.
It doesn't matter who wins in the end; it's all bout who is left standing.
The people who can last all the rounds, and yet survive.
The struggle. It makes them stand out.
I truly salute them.One thing bout me: while I gain my confidence easily, there's such a high tendency to be dangerously over-confident.
Double the pride, twice the downfall.Megalomaniacal it may seem, but that's one flaw bout me I can't deny.
I need to work on this.
Well, I'd always try to improve myself for the better, and I think the future's still very bright.
Lots of potential, Joker.
Lots of potential.
Just don't get any fucking complacent, and make sure you win this war.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
7:52 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I'm laughing my ass off now.
Literally jumping up and down...all because the much hated 'Mr Yee' is on today's
Newpaper front page.
Ok, looks like you're still not laughing yet.
Come closer, I'd tell you why!
He got screwed for saying please. As simple as that!
How much of a dick can he be?
Man, it's so damn funny...that bloody arrogant self-proclaimed anglophile finally gets screwed by the public.
I always knew this day'd come.For all you out there who're anticipating your time, don't worry! Please remain patient and stay calm...cause it'd be over before you know it!
And for all those who constantly seek indulgence in materialism, your paedomorphism is your weakness.
Avarice will kill you in time.Ok...if you really have to go, please, go with a smile.
At least I did. Ahahahhaha.
Man, I'm beginning to sound cagey.
Ok, enough for today folks, sorry for this, it just seems that whenever you get in the mood, some things just have to happen. Like studying.
Well, let's just put a big and pretty smile on that face, shall we?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
1:38 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Been feeling pretty empty these few days.
I can't seem to control those flashbacks. I can't seem to concentrate.
Maybe I've been feeling empty all this while, just that I had a high threshold of pain.
Just maybe.I feel frozen.There seems to be nothing much to fuel my rage nowadays, let alone inspire me.
I've always been going my own way, and I'm now pretty inclined to think that I'm venturing into this dark abyss, away from sanity, and all alone.
It's either this or that it's just one of those days you really succumb to emotions.You know, those days when you really wish that you had someone to talk to, someone that could care for you, or even just someone there to encourage you?
Ha.I always tell myself that it's only normal for a human being to feel sad and empty, but I feel Joker laughing at me.
Again.
I've been too sensitive. Been like a wimp for such a long time.Wimpy wimpy me.Whine like a Swine. Paralysed and Pathetic.Empathetic and Effeminate.Down and Dying.Terminal but Tenacious.I hear a sudden laughter echoing in my head.
I'm smiling now.
What? Not laughing yet? Just wait 'til I get to the punch line. It'll kill you!
Hahaz.
Well, here it is: enjoy yourself out there... in the asylum. Just don't forget: if it ever gets too tough... there's always a place for you here.Your sincerely, Joker.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
3:49 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Went back to SA at 8.30 to watch boxing. They had one guy knock the other guy out. It was worth the wait.
Meet up with several old buddies and was real glad that everything's working out for em'.
Play soccer at SAJC with my buddies, when my left knee suddenly felt a sharp pain. I thought the pain had gone a few days after the Will Run but it didn't seem so.
I'm now kinda crippled.Went back to school at 5.30, and it was considered as late coming.
What a turnoff.Ha.The concert had everyone dressed in their home clothes. Well, on the whole, it still couldn't really beat last year's.
They played Hotel California on the stage and when I told me friends that the song had devilish lyrics they were shocked. Man, for goodness's sake, Anton Levey was in their music video!
Went to dunk the birthday boy's(Daryl) head into a melting and stinking cake at the boulder area. He went around school chasing all off us.
Too bad I couldn't run. Had him swiping his caked-face on me.
Went to Glass House at Dhoby afterwards for dinner. At 10.00 pm.
Damn, saw Tiffany and the place had already closed.
Met Jeremy, James, Desmond and Jason at Cartel coincidentally. Hahaz, had Jeremy remind me about how I was in the first 3 months.
I was so crazy. Man, I miss the craze.Yeah, after a few more months, and I can let the lil 'old demon out again. Bet you guys miss that real crazy side of Joker.
Time's the only barrier.We wanted to catch a show after 1, but apparently there weren't any nice shows. We walked all the way to the Grand Cathay to slack.
It was getting to around 2, and they all wanted to go home, although I was feeling pretty energetic.
They all got cabs as all of them lived in the hougang area. Leaving me out, and it was pretty hard for me to cab back. My pockets would burn even more.
I took the night rider and the closest it headed was at Boon Keng. Then I had this crazy idea of walking home.
All alone, on the highway and crippled.I took the risk. Hungry ghost festival had already started.
I was walking like Terry Fox along that dark highway with speeding cars.
A bloody highway, and alone. What a night.I finally reached home at around 3 and realised that my parents were waiting for me, especially my mom.
It's my mom's birthday today, and it's national day.
Going out to dine, most probably buffet again and I don't believe my friend's actually jealous of my abs, cause I know I'm already losing it.
My muscles too. I think I'm getting fat.Haven't been training for months now.Well, my first priority's still the Big A's, and I have to focus.
Time to get back to work, Joker.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
7:58 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Will Run 10 km event today. I did the minimum.
The others did 15-20 km.
The school did its best to encourage us to do 20km. Or at least to keep on running for 1 and a half hours for sending the paralympics to the games.
I thought of how those people could run so much. The school has indeed succeeded in conforming everyone, but certainly not me.
I was asked by many why I didn't do extra.
My friends all thought that I should have gone further simply because I had the ability to do so.
However, I just saw no point in running my guts out, and I realised that we actually don't need events like this to prove ourselves.
Why are we always so desperate to prove ourselves?Is it because we want to improve, or just that need to fill the void of criticism?To be acknowledged as tough, strong and macho by the peers.
Now isn't this peer pressure?Call me a quitter, a loser or just some coward.
Why so serious?Does that actually make you feel better, people?I'm so sorry to say that I do not have any voids to fill. I am confident of myself, even though I can get really egoistic at times, and I certainly do not need to prove my worth over such things.
Isn't it ironic that people are struggling so much to do the 20 km just because they want to prove that they have perseverance(which is a mark of strong mentality), yet at the same time succumb to the fear of being criticised?
Yeah, correct, it's all in the mind. If our heads were truly high, we'd never have to fear at all.
I met up with my old friends for lunch today.
Seems like I'm lacking behind again. Gotta catch up with those old buddies someday.
I sat at the bus stop, when I saw a black cat running into the road directly in front of me.
I saw the car smash that little body of that poor black cat.
Within a second, the cat laid on the ground, with it's eyes popping out and muscle spasms. Then the blood began to pour out from the mouth.
I had witnessed a roadkill right in front of my eyes.
When you see death at such a close proximity, it kinda makes you want to treasure your life more.
Perhaps stay happier and more contented.
More importantly, cultivate some dignity and confidence.Have a backbone, as the saying goes, those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
5:09 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
