Tuesday, January 29, 2008
It all ended abruptly yesterday.
Months of love building and bonding we did step by step, She threw it all away. Too many mistakes, too little mutual understanding.
I do not regret dating Her. I only regret that I pamper her too much.So much to the extent that she began expecting more of me. So much that I can't give.
So much that my heart just felt cold.She didn't come to school today. Well, she's not feeling well it seems. I do feel like calling her up now and just ask about her condition.
I do miss her.But Joker's coming back again.For a few months, he seemed to have disappeared entirely out of my life.
It must've been the magic of love.Or perhaps, my 'Joker' syndrome got into her.These few months without Joker was good. I felt myself change drastically. I became more forgiving, became sweeter, and became more lethargic. I felt her change too. She was heading the other way.
Joker is still in me. He is still alive. The great thing is, love taught me how to control him. Yes, power is something with control.
I can almost feel my former powerful self coming back again. I'm already building up on my adrenaline. This is exactly what I need for the A levels. Sweet.
I'm currently only hoping that a small, faint but yet persistent voice in my head would just disappear; it says: "Welcome to the End."
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
4:15 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
It's been so long since I last blogged. Been running on a very tight schedule.
Now I'm just gonna keep things that had happened the last week short and succinct.
The Rockclimbing camp for the JC1s last week was great.The whole team had a great deal of fun, although the number of the juniors turning up was minute. What I had actually looked forward to was to see the team bond.
Our team had never been closer than ever.As usual, poor James always got "bullied"(well,it wasn't really bullying cause he didn't really mind) ,but I reckon we shouldn't go so far.We're a team and every single one of us deserves to be inside,and I'm conveying this message with a neutral tone.
Yesterday, She got pissed by one of my classmate who irritates her with his obnoxious rants. Well, I stayed as calm and professional as possible to tell him off nicely. It worked.
Most importantly is that She feels alright deep inside...I know the past week for her was hell as her training periods are seriously getting ridiculously long.Moreover, her affection for her team and sport isn't as strong as mine.
All I can do now is to keep encouraging and motivating her.
Women, like it or not, are definitely emotional beings. They're strange and weird at times, but these are the attributes that makes them different,cute and lovable.
Especially Her.
I admit that I am egoistic at times, but it is only the intrinsic nature of men. What women want is for the guys to control their egoistic and chauvinistic attitude; at least in their presence. Women feel that men who are too egoisitic are being too overboard and are looking down on their status as women.Women still need men with egos, but it should be coupled with another strength called control.
I understand how men feel; when you lose to a gal in terms of academic or physical abilities, you'd feel that the world is upside down. I think, when men try their best to understand women, women in turn should also try to understand men. We can't have the men always trying to please the women to the extent of sacrificing their egos?
Whatever the case, when it comes to love, all of this pointing of fingers/gender war should cease. Men should always try to give in; this could prove that chivalry isn't dead yet. When women see this, chances are they'd most probably respect and tend to give in to you?
Until you know how to train this very strength of self-control, chances are you aren't gonna get any gals soon.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
1:29 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Firstly,I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all those who actually remembered my birthday today.If it was for me,I'd most probably forget.
She got me presents and cards.I feel so blessed most of the time.
I'm so sorry that I said something wrong, when I was going to comfort you. I don't know why I say those things sometimes...but be rest assured,I don't mean it, cause I love you.
My current playlist:
Birthday by the
Cruxshadows.I'm officially 18 now.
"...So tell me what really matters
Is it the money and the fame?
Or how many people might eventually know your name?
But maybe you touch one life
And the world becomes a better place to be
Maybe you give their dreams another day
Another chance to be free..."-
Birthday by the
CruxshadowsAnother year has come and gone.What will you do if tomorrow it's all gone?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
4:24 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
The 1st week of school.Just awesome.
Some people in my class are beginning to make me feel disgusted.
It's gonna be like a larvae nest that spells repugnance.
Implusive I might be in the past, but through all that I've seen and learnt the past year, I've learnt how to handle things professionally.
Enticing it might be to try to put them down yourself...but what entices me more is the entry university.The only gateway to freedom.
It's what I'm here for in the first place.
Have a character; be someone.Be objective.I've come a long way to learn that hatred and anger can be good...but it will turn into angst eventually.It can be strong...but it'd be no use if you can't control it.
Greater power comes to those who can control and suppress their anger.
Sometimes jealousy,hate and rage makes you more like an animal, and in this world, the more you act like one, the more others will treat you like one.
It's like a trap; those names they call you, the insults bombarded at you...these are all traps.Traps set by them to make you fall for it. Make you pay for it.
You get affected because you feel inferior. You're insecure. Not because you're angry. It certainly comes before that.
Well, instead of random insults, the higher the frequency of these insults the more they sound like barking.
I never liked dogs.We live in a civilised world. Like it or not, we're gonna be the pillars of society in the future. If some of you people out there want to be seen as animals, the world would certainly treat you like one. By hook or by crook.
Cause' what goes around, comes around.You'd better be scared.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
4:59 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
