I strive to Burn and the Flame returns-

Monday, July 31, 2006

You aren't gonna believe what you're gonna hear.

I'm finally casting Anger off.

I'm trying to learn to endure and how not to be provoked and being angry easily.I'm really trying my best to do so.

Trying my very best to turn over a new leaf.Hope those people out there could really accept me once again.
It had been really been such a painful time out there.

I read this book which I found in my old book shelf(while I idled away in my room),a buddhist book which is in appropriate and accurate english,teaching bout how to curb anger forever.

I found this book really of great interest.It has sparked off the very little left of available good in me.Although everyone gets angry once in awhile,as it is only human nature,for my case it is very different.

I breed the venomous anger every single time I got pissed.It accumlates and the big snow ball is called Morbid Hatred.It is very very,poisoning.It could really Kill.Trust me on this.

It affects everyone directly and indirectly.Hatred is only the opposite of love,like a little but steadily glowing lamp,we can ignite many other little lamps...it all depends whether the flame has a good or bad cause.

There is alot of hatred in my family.My parents are always arguin,I can't concentrate on my studies,I'm restricted to almost everything now.Anger just bred and bred and bred.I can't release it at home.I've just gotta do it somewhere else.

"How many people I hate could I possibly kill?Their numbers are boundless as the sky.But if the thought of anger is killed,then all your enemies will be killed."
This beautiful quote of enlightenment certainly brought me back to life again.

The world is already in chaos and destruction already,why not curb the anger and be a useful person contributing to this world?Nobody is free from blame anyway.So do yourself a big favour,don't let your soul drown in anger and turmoil.Doesn't it have enough problems already?

The next time you get angry,don't act rashly.Wanna know why?Some people may indeed be fast to react and we called them smart.But did you know,if the others were to take time to actually think bout it carefully,they would be able to give even smarter solutions.

Endurance is bliss.Endurance takes strength-and builds it.

The next time whenever you get upset with a person or get into arguement or a fight,just remember this:The one who gets angry always loses.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

4:37 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Now then I realise that I actually have lots of injuries on my body.It was just that I didn't have the time to pay any attention to them.This seriously is 'Injury time'.

Practised a parkour wall run today in school and I got nabbed by a teacher.Damn.I was just bout to get hyper.The punishment for dirtying the walls?Cleaning it after school with detergent.Waste of time totally.And there weren't even shoe marks on it?

My sprained ankle hasn't healed up yet,but I can still run.I hurt it again while jumpin off a ledge bout half a story high after school on my way home.

Wrong Landing Procedure.Damn.

I sprained my damn back too while playin soccer last week.It got better initally but now I reckon after all the stunts it got worst.I almost perfected the wall run though...it was just that I needed more inspiration?

I'm practising parkour everyday now.I'm addicted to the adrenalin rush everytime I get hyper.I gotta train my skinny arms and abs...I think they're still too weak...I'm going to work out and get muscles.Push-ups,wall climbing,burpees,crunches,sit-ups...Strength I truely desire.

I'm curretly watching lots of parkour videos on YouTube and I found one I particularly liked...It's in my links right at the bottom at Miscellaneous.If you never knew what Parkour was,it's time you get up to respect this sport.

Enjoy.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

12:39 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Went to Sentosa yesterday.Damn bloody hot and humid.I never liked that place except for its eye candy.

Went to the dirty Palawan beach.Dirty sand and dirty sea water,yuck.But there was lots of eye candy.Damn.Lots of gals sun-tanning and playin beach volleyball.Some of them are really hot especially those tourists.Super damn.

While I was learning how to swim properly at the hotel's clean swimming pool,I saw this very attractive,tanned and sexy gal(whom I think it's my age to my observations)...she got me blown away hahaz.Damn.No one could ever really blow me away as far as I'm concerned.She actually caught me looking at her and she did turn and look back but she just pretended not too.She was in a hot and skimpy bikini dammit,Dammit.The mutual 'observation' lasted for like an hour.Yes,I did say mutual.Hahaz.I'm pretty happy.

Now I got rest assured that I'm not gay.I've always wanted to take this kind of gay tests.Lucky me.There were lots of hot S'pore gals at the beach too,roughly my age...but I didn't really check them out as I was feeling so embarrased wearin my super mini gay swimming trunks.Why?My ass was showing,dammit.I felt so insecure when I saw them looking at me.Fucking embarrassing.I was never eye candy to them in the first place.

I never liked swimming anyway,but I got tanned.I don't know whether it is good or bad.It's up to the ladies I reckon.

I never ever felt in with anything anyway.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

1:44 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Thursday, July 20, 2006

I changed the way the quote goes.

You all think I was gonna give a fuck bout your opinions that you all hoped that could change me?No damn way.

Well I thought bout forgiving you guys bout doing all that to me,on behalf on you people not knowing that I'm a very sensitive person.Forgive you false saints just like the act of Jesus forgiving those who crucified him.

Just like a god,just like one.

By the way,I heard 'Hotel California' by the Eagles on the radio today.An everlasting,timeless hit just like Led Zeppelin's Stairway to heaven.

Little did I know,the Dj on the radio stated that in the music video itself,amongst the crowd,is Anton Levey.The very person who wrote the satanic bible,the one person who started the satanic church.The song's lyrics is indeed dark,although it ain't metal.

Ain't it a startling fact?I've always thought that good songs like Stairway to heaven are often produced with a huge price to pay.The band members' souls.Doubt me?Well wouldn't you agree such songs are really legendary?And the band could not possibly produce any other song as good as the hit.Well,they only got to sell their soul once in return for money,sex and fame.

Led Zeppelin's late Jimmy Page with in cahoots with the english Beezlebub,Aleister Crowley.He sold his soul indeed,and he even learnt the use of Magick.He died away eventually.

There's always a price from everything.Not necessarily in money terms.

Haha.

Mark my words:Once bitten,twice prepared.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

5:47 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Saturday, July 15, 2006

I found this really cool gothic metal band-Inkubus Sukkubus.Sensual vocals and nice semi-ambient music,that's what I call gothic metal.

This song playing now's by them,We belong to the dead.Enjoy.

It's too late to turn back now
For we have slain the Sacred Cow
For paradise we are bound
We were lost, but now we're found
As the razor cuts the wrist
Rejoice for Heaven's love has kissed
The icy blade shall lead the way
Don't you cry and don't you pray

We belong with the Dead

Come and sleep eternal sleep
Don't you fear and don't you weep
On a chariot we shall ride, all the way to suicide
You took me up, you dragged me down
Now my soul is quite unbound
Don't you try to change my mind
To sense and reason I am blind

We belong with the Dead

On the ferry to the Underworld
Round the blade our fingers curled
Let me give you your release
In my love and in my peace

We belong with the Dead....

Absolute meaningful lyrics.It has overwhelmed me much.

I think I'm gonna be indulging in goth metal again.

Hear me Laugh.

I'm terminating here.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

12:49 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Friday, July 14, 2006

Cell Log:
I ate Snails today.At first I kinda feared but oh well,I eat anything that tastes good and they did taste very good indeed!It's considered a delicacy in China.They really taste awfully good.You must suck all their juice and the flesh from their puny shells...in order to satisfy.

Wonder how similar they're to me living their lives in a shell.

I got a real sense of satisfaction...I really did.
I was smiling.Like hell.Awfully like hell.

Yummy.

When will ever get to eat them again?

Still listening to Celldweller's old songs I got a few months ago...I still ain't getting sick of it at all.In fact they soothe my moods very much.

I'm missing people again...guess you know who those people are-I'd never be the same.

Nothing much to blog about now...
I'm ending this Cell Log here.Period.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

7:41 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Prelims are just a few weeks away,the weeks are passing by so fast.Very fast.

I've roughly bout 3 weeks left before I expire.I'm gonna expire.

I'm so tired nowadays,I can't seem to run as fast as I want to,can't even do proper parkour without hurtin myself.I sprained my right ankle while being tackled at a street soccer court.Best thing of all was that I sprained my left ankle the following day.

I rarely ever sprain my ankles.

I'm also feeling quite lethargic lately...I hate the feeling of sleepin.I've got to slap myself in the face to keep awake.I just don't feel myself.

I'm becoming much more into studies more than anything else but I'm still as lazy as usual.It's not much of help.

Hope I'm changing for the better,though.

I'm ending this Cell Log here.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

8:39 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Had my chinese oral today,I stammered much during the reading.I had lots of words missing.What shit had got into my head man?

I wasn't even nervous when I entered the hall...but when it came to my turn,my mind went fucked.Damn.It just happened.I couldn't control it no matter how strong I was mentally.

But I managed to calm myself down during the discussion.Although I still stammered much.The teachers only asked me the question once and no other questions were pointed out.

Then I asked my teacher whether I did well,she said I most probably had too much to say and so no other questions are needed?My friends had bout 4-5 other questions pumped at them.

Hope I did well,cause my confidence kind of failed me.My teacher had a feeling I did well,but I don't seem to.

Damn Dysfunction.

I swam in the school's pool for the first time and they were testing me.I don't really know how to swim and don't like swimmin at all.But it was fun,being in the pool with my friends.

I also got nominated for 'Manhunt' during the graduation after the O levels.It's a good thing to me.It's some sort of model/idol search for my school during the dinner and dance at the graduation dinner.I reckon my friends nominated me as part of a joke?But I don't have anything to lose so,why not?The graduation dinner would be free anyway hahaz.

I'm so looking forward to entertain and socialise with all others on that day.
That's what I want.

He builds his personality like how They build bombs-

2:35 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-