Heard the song
Dance Dance by Fallout Boy
,although I don't really know who they are and they sound mainstream and radio-friendly....I kinda like the song.
It's kinda like a gay song but yeah,I like it.
Got a tag recently in my tagboard,luckily I checked my tagboard cause it's not everytime I check it and practically no one ever tags me.I don't know who this person is but I'd reckon it's some kind of joke.
Perhaps I'm wrong.Perhaps I'm right.I really hate cheap people.It ranges from flirts to promiscuous fucked-up people.Hopefully I don't get to cross paths with any of them.
I'll slay them.The reason I'm a sadist is not actually because I'm evil to hurt the innocent.I'm one because I want to punish those motherfuckers who deserve them in the most gruesome and macabre ways...
You know,although everyone deserves love,there're always people who deserve punishment more than anything else.Fuck them all.Chinese O level oral is due next week.Wish me luck.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
5:17 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I spent more than half of my holidays reflecting bout my life.I saw the holidays an appropriate time to do some self-reflection.There really was a need to do so.I had to set my mentality right for greater things in life.I had been reading books.Books that cause me to wander deep down into my own soul.I wanted to know myself better.
I had to know what I wanted.
You know,it's pretty hard to know what you want in life actually as in Singapore,the words on the streets are 'study,study,study.'
Nothing else matters anymore to people who indulge in their studies.That's why the society is rotting away with time.Not even the basic courtesy,the basic human nature would matter any longer.As their deep indulgence in only studyin had been strengthened by jealousy....Utter and dismal envy and jealousy of those who are better than them.This lead to their own selfish desires and I reckon they'll self destruct eventually and inevitably later in life.
Perhaps it'll possibly harm their future relationships in life,blocking off a human being's initial ablility to interact and socialise properly.All these are gone and these are treasured values one can't learn overnight.
The only way to learn now is to fail.Only failure would open their minds to reality.But by then,it'll be all too late.
Another one bites the dust.I'm beginning to believe in reincarnation and retribution.No,I meant that I had always believed in it but these past few days I've been pondering bout it as I read books.
What was life worth living for if you don't mean anything to anyone in this world?You'd be as good as dead.
What our heart truely,truely desires is to ability to gain love from all around us and in return,give love back.Now I ask you,had what I said ever crossed your mind?If it had,you're still human.
If it hadn't,I'd suggest you go get some reflection bout your own life.
I know I won't be happy even if I was the richiest guy on earth,without meaning special to anyone.Would you?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
9:15 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I'm obsessed again.This time with someone I've really liked and fell in love with inevitably over time.Gosh,the feeling of love warms my heart again.I could finally get to live again?
She's now my dearest obsession.I can't hold back my feelings for her anymore...been trying so hard to contain and compress it inside of me.I finally confessed.
I knew I had to.But is this love gonna be mutual?Or is it just a silly and wishful thinking of my part?She said she wasn't angry or anything...but she just didn't know what to say and do.She also didn't expect me to like her at all....but I did.
I had a crush on her.A pretty deep one.I've always wanted and dreamed of being in love...but I know it isn't the right time to do so now...I'm stressed.She's stressed too.But being stressed,just doesn't mean love would die right?
Or just maybe it would.I wouldn't know.It never occured to me in my dreams.Damn.I really hope she doesn't ignore me...oh baby,please don't.
Everyone knows Joker doesn't really like to be ignored....
He'll die of heartache.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
9:19 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I'm feeling so left out again.I think my condition's going down too fast and too far.I can't seem to control it now.It's so painful.My eyes can't stop moving.
When you can't say what you really want to say, it is silenced insanity.I am under this situation now.My thoughts are flashing past me by.It's almost spontaneous.
Hey do you know I really,really,really like kids?Why won't you believe me?But I have never really had a chance to play along with them...I want to.I want to be a kid again.Want my room to be filled with wonderful figures and toys again.I wanna indulge in cartoons again.I'm obsessed.Good.My childhood all ended in a riptide.Under the spell of the churning ocean. Wanting the freedom and fluidity of water.I've become much more versatile.Much stronger.Much faster.Much much more alone and callous.Independence,strength-when the forest has burned out around you and you are the only tree left, standing alone.Anger and hatred swept the whole forest out.I'm living in a trance,a cell,a hell.Where my insanity is silenced....but not destroyed.I only rant about it in this very blog of mine,and have never mention it to anyone else before.I think I like keeping things to myself.
Stumbled upon another genre again.Similar to ambient but much darker,much more sensual....much more lucid.Gothic Rock.Something very similar to darkwave.
One band of such is Darklily.I just love their lyrics and the way they bring out their feelings....which are almost similar to mine?It's pretty sensual,along with industrial and classical beats....definitely gothic....and just so girlish?I love them.I feel like learning the piano now.
Life is so fragile,you know.You'd better learn to treasure it,before its gone...by then it'd be too late...cause you only live once.I beg you not to end it.Please don't.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
10:02 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Am I in sync with everyone else,with the world?
I think I'm not.I really think I'm not.
Another genre of music I stumbled upon accidentally online is a sub-genre of electronica/industrial/trance.It's called Industrial Ambient.Sounds pretty cool.It's something like trance but it's less mainstream and it has a darker feel to it definitely.It indulges serenity and tranquillity.It casts me away into a new world.The soundscape for a cold and barren land.Casts me alone in a remote place of serenity and solitude,at the mercy of nature and the elements.
Gosh it's nice.At last my soul could escape and take a break from this stressed up living hell.A place where I can be alone and fadeaway in peace.It's just so peaceful.
Perhpas I could mix it with industrial metal or trance and consume it like a drug.Hahaz.It'll be something like mixing different types of alcohol together.It's dangerous but fun.Real fun.I didn't get to catch Silent Hill yesterday because of my undecisive friends.I'm really,really pissed.Didn't get to do anything.Fuck.
I guess I'm really not in sync with them,or anyone else.
What the fuck is wrong with everyone?Or is it with me?
I want everyone to die with me now.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
8:29 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I fell out with my good friend recently...She wouldn't reply my text messages at all?She had never ever ignored me...but now she's going to.
I can't contact her and can't seem to find her blog address cause she changed it without telling me.She's disappeared?
I really fear people ignoring me.It's another phobia I have.We were really good friends,and I've never ever made her angry before?I thought we had already established a stable bond,but it doesn't seem so.I just couldn't understand why she had to disappear...disappear from the person she claimed she trusted and could confide in.
If she had any sort of problems at home or anything,I'd do anything to help her...but it seems she doesn't need my help and I can't help much too.
Maybe she just needs some time alone.Maybe.Everyone does.Or maybe she has never liked my attention,never ever really liked me or anything.
But I guess it doesn't matter anymore...all I want now is to hear from her again.I really missed her.I hope she's doing fine too...if she's happier this way...I'd let her be.Perhaps I'm the one who's causing her problems.
I don't know at all.
Trust is so hard these days.Especially when someone needs it the most.It's just so hard.
At first,I was sure that we've already become good friends...I tried not to doubt her...and gave it my best to be by her side.But I knew it was all gonna end anyway...good things never last.Knowing this,I tried to talk to her more and more often but in the end she just got sick of me.Sick of Me.
Now the question is,did she really treasured our special friendship or she took it for granted?
Well if she
did,she would've gave me at least a little reply telling me not to worry to much and all.
She did not.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
8:42 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
6.6.06.Is it a bad or good omen?
The chinese say 666 is a prosperous number,while the westerners say it's Satan's mark.Well,what do you say?
It seems like those stuck-up westerners' culture totally reflects our chinese culture.We(chinese) think that the dragon was the most mythical and powerful creature alongside with the phoenix.Past chinese emperors even bear the mark of the dragon.
While on the other side of the world,the westerners
insists that the dragon
IS the Devil.Guess what guys,"Dracula" actually means 'Son of the Dragon'/ 'Dragon'/or perhaps just 'Satan' himself.WTF.
I've always been fond of dragons since young.Who are They to condemn our culture,which history was definitely longer than theirs?Our history/culture started way before theirs,5000 years before the birth of Christ.Yet they say Christ's birth marks the beginning of the world.
666.The 'alleged' demonic number.I say it's bullshit.It was created
By and
In the bible
only.Come to think of it,all the other numerals have already been taken up.As you can see,7 is a lucky number,8 and 4 the chinese took and therefore '6' is given to the Devil.Awww....poor thing.The Devil has no other number,no other choice.So God gave him 666.Isn't he sweet?Well I think it's better than nothing.
Well,Fuck it.
All these are only perceptions.Personal perceptions.What difference does it make?At the western side of this very world,people are afraid of this 'Evil' day,while on the other side,many people consider it once in a millenium and prosperous and many got married.
We are people living in the same world,dammit!All we do is condemn,condemn condemn those whom we do not understand.When we do not understand something,we Fear it.
It is up to you to say whether it was a good or bad omen.I really don't give much fuck bout it.What I'm concerned about is...When will we learn not to be afraid of something that we do not understand?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
6:14 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I still can't find Celldweller's latest single,the remix of Bee gees 'Tragedy'.I got addicted to that song.Too bad it's just a sample only.Damn.Red Hot Chilli Peppers ain't too bad too,with their latest album 'Stadium Arcadium'.Dani California sounds something like Californication.Well,the old times.I miss them.Got to go study again.I need it like a drug now.There's nothin much to blog about too.So I've just decided to leave my blog as it is for now.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
9:19 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I've lost countless battles.Countless against my mind,against all fucking the odds.But,but...I don't think I've lost the War just yet.
With war comes scars....then sweet tasting revenge.I need to pull up my fucking socks.I need to switchback now.A total switchback isn't easy...but it isn't impossible either.There's still time....there's still time.
In this period of time,fucking self discipline comes in.Hard.Something I've never really like try it on my self before.I guess it's time to.It'll be sort of a like self-bondage kind of thing.Isolation till the day the war ends eventually or I break.
It's the only way to get out of this hell.
I would really love to see them all die.By then no one can stop me...one good reason why I have to sacrifice.This is just a minute part of my life.Just a little part.If I don't even get out of this alive,what am I?
I've trained myself throughout the years not to be affected by anybody's comments or insults.Basically everyone was doing that,and they saw my weakest point.My mind.
I had eat up,endure everyone's fucking insults and rants till I learn to like it.I'll change it into something useful.It ain't easy,but I managed to do it.By myself.
Did you really fucking think that it's really so easy to get rid of me?I reckon you think a fucking thousand times.Do you even think that it'll even affect me?
When a person gets pushed to the extreme,nothing will stand in his way.Not even Fear will.Let alone your fucking judgements.What drives me now is Revenge.Revenge in the most unexpectable and unpredictable way.And that's exactly what Joker stands and live for now.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
6:38 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
