Will this be another dark embrace?Perhaps the darkest embrace yet.
Exams are near.I failed countless tests.Over the year.Or years.
But it's only ideal that I maintain positive.I need to focus.
I could focus at the optimum with a dark embrace.I'll need another one.I need to let go of my feelings.
"It was not the size of the dog that determined the victory;it was the size of the fight in the dog that did."-Beautiful quote.I like it.
Newly incorporated in the attributes of my personality is Discipline.I found my own discipline.I have been observing how certain people get to be successful.I then realised that there's a common trait among all of them:Being stoic and having the essential discipline.
Most successful people also are willing to learn hard from their mistakes.They don't get beaten down by any sort of defeat.Instead they suck it in real well and spit it out in others' face.That's what I wanna do.Besides,when you lose a few battles,it doesn't mean you're definitely gonna lose the war,right?
I will change overnight.If no one could do it,I can and I will.
This embrace is the darkest.I'll need His help again.Joker's help.He's been buried in the darkest depths of my soul.Haven't looked him up since....a very long time ago.Time to do so now.
It's my last resort.But there's quite a huge price to pay though.
As long as I get to my destination,I'm sure I'll be the one who laugh the longest and the loudest.
Try to beat me at it.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
5:58 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
This is a poem I wrote very long ago(somewhere last year) and I just found it while packing my room.Perhaps you guys may find it childish,but it certainly brought back many memories.
Here's how it goes:
There was once this boy,who believed in love,till he knew it was a curse.He fell in love with a girl,a girl he'd treasure and love,At first it all seemed so true,both were bombarded by 'I love you'still one day she said,"Oh I'm so confused,I don't know how to say this,but I think we should just be friends."This statement shocked him real bad,cause he had never expected it to end like that.It was through a series of calls,that he tried to court her back,nevertheless,he was still left on the racks.Finally he understood,that love couldn't be forced.It would be as good as it being lost.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
11:38 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I ain't scared of any fucked up assholes in my school.That fucking beast of burden is bringin everyone down.
Fancy talking bout me behind my fucking back.You really think I'm scared of you?If you got the guts,I dare you to come forward.
SLAY ME IF YOU CAN.Fucking asshole collaborated with my old bitch-hag form teacher.That bitch is just plain stupid man.Initially I didn't wanna hurt the elderly.I never wanted to.
I fucking tried to be good,for Fuck's sake!Now you couple of shit holes gonna step on my tail again and again eh?
I HATE IT.I ain't no fucking scared of you shitheads!Oh for Fuck's sake!
Now hell will break loose.Fuckers like you don't deserve to be given even the slightest respect?
FUCK YOU THEN!CHRISTIANS.BIG FUCK.Come get some.I'm ready.I'm prepared to die,are you?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
3:27 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Gosh.I'm feeling pretty gay again.I'm all so sentimental and soft again.
I'm a shapeshifter.From all hard and fucked up to all soft and weak.
I want a Kitty!I really want IT!
Gosh.I've to say I envy Yuki for having a new pet kitty.It's a youngling and most of all it's a damn adorable black and white cat? :)
I hope I can get to see it,can't wait to cuddle it to death man!
See?I'm gay again.Fancy getting all so excited over a cutesy little kitty.I hope she helps me live my dream man!I've always been fond of cats?
Look what I did,I actually went to find pictures of cute kitties!I'm going all soft again.Oh dear,oh dear,oh dear.
Look at the picture of two kitties being in love.Aren't they just so sweet and innocent?Isn't love supposed to be like this?
I want this kind of Love.
What's happening to me?I'm not feeling right.
But who the fuck really cares?
I like being who I am.
I love cats.
The shapeshifter.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
2:10 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Abit here and there with all my mentalities.Juggling with them.
Gosh,one personality says hip hop,another wants brutal Metal,the sentimental wants pop.It's all according to my moods....and according the people I'm interacting with.Oh dear.
Then have you ever wondered how I behave when I'm alone or when I'm with a close loved one?I tell you,I'm a totally different person.My moods could change anytime.
Now,I'm back with my old mentality.With a headstong,fast-paced but awkwardly sentimental personality.I don't know how I did it,but I just did.
I guess I love my New Self.Been tuning to heavy hip-hop the past few months,but I'm back to metal?The Dark Traquillity death metal type.Gets me pumping.
Another good thing is,my school won ACS(I) again this year for the B' division Police Cup.I usually don't give a damn bout cheering but this year I cheered till my throat and lungs are sore.We won and there's a half day for everyone?
By the way,Yuki,I've been tuning to your blog frequently...and I've read the one that had me in it?Hahaz.Okay....all I can say is,I'm really grateful to you too...thanks for stepping in to my life.You certainly brought me nothing but joy?
Okay...an everlasting friendship bond that I swear I'll treasure and cherish.Mark my words and I'll mark yours.
3 cheers for the sweetest of our friendship!
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
2:01 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
My style,My life;I live it the way I fuckin want it.No one can stop me.
I won't let anyone fuckin do so,as long as I don't break any fucking rules.I don't give a fucking damn what the others think.This is the most basic mentality the Japanese have.As long as you're right,no matter what the society condemns,you'll still be respected.
That damn beast in school;I settled him.After so many times of long feuds I had with Him.I managed to slay the beast by it's damn heart.Hardcore man,fucking hardcore.I've been waiting for that damned day.To settle the score with Him.
I made that beast cry man!He was so sick.He had mucus leaking out of his nose when he was lecturing me?Telling me god fuckin loves me and stuff like this?And I didn't do anything wrong during assembly.
Is not bowing while the prayers are being made during assembly a crime?FUCK YOU then!He stepped on my tail first.Now he's got his Punishment.
I call it PUNISHMENT.For what he had done to the school and our poor souls.
That beast cried and he said it hurts to see the school to be down in ruins.I said I was Antichrist right in his fucking face!If he didn't believe me,he could ask my friends....all of them know.And he said no matter what god still loves me?WTF HAHA! Now there's another reason to FUCK Him UP! Yes!
I got my chance and said,"Sir,by the way I'm a sadist too.Don't believe,you can ask my friends."He got jacked and I never saw that bastard cry before.Which fucking beast cries?And my form teacher asked me what happened and some of my friends and my teacher asked me to apologize to him?
FUCK THEM TOO! I didn't do anything wrong.Why must I do so?If I was in the wrong,I would've obeyed and apologized on the spot man!I felt so damn happy man,at last got him settled.Now he doesn't even dare look at me when he walks past man.Failure.Like the rest of them.
Enough of the "slayed",by the way,I just found out that I really liked to watch love serials,be it HK or Korean...I guess I've become more sentimental?hahaz...but still am sadistic.And I love mutiliating my keychains man!It's so damn nice and I always get a sense of satisfaction and achievement cause no one else could think of it...I'm more creative!Really cool and nice new hobby eh?
Whenever I watch those mushy love serials,especially if the serials are filmed in a relatively cold place like Korea or Paris,I'll always like daydream bout Love and just go all soft and become so sentimental?
I don't know why but I really like the feeling.It's so nice to just hug and cuddle someone you love and adore so much in the cold weather?Gosh....it's so sweet...A pair of lovers being in love,they're perfectly happy and it's mutual,they do some many things together and nothing could separate them....gosh,I can't go on.My heart's already melting.
Only Love could stop everything about me,including my heart.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
9:56 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
