A new life,a new beginning,a new hair style.Trying my best to forget my past.Time will only make me stronger.Wanna know more goth people.Nowadays,migraines are eating me up.I'm rotting here but I'll still be standing.Don't really have time to update my blog nowadays.Wait till I change my skin into a real gothic.Chill~
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
3:25 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Finally it's over.Broken up with Amanda.I may have lost the battle, but not the war.The war within myself.The key to my own self-destruction hasn't been found.She failed to do so.So did everyone.Not feeling angry or what so ever.Just plain sadistic.Figured out the ultimate way to become a true sadist is to kill Love and live without it.Not many would have the courage to kill it.But certainly not me.Anyway love couldn't exist in hell.I believe many would also ponder over this matter with a series of sleepless nights,but I wouldn't do so.I love to prove others wrong and prove to be stronger and I shall.If a guy would take a month to get over it,I'll take a day.
And I don't think I'll fall in love with her again,cause I'll be one without a sense of pride.Even if I still do love her,my hatred would be stronger than love.
I would rather die standing,than to live on my knees.I'll never bow to any man nor God.What is a man without pride?At least I'm left with dignity and pride.I'm still going stronge and standing.This ordeal has made me stronger and definetely more mature.I guess,I'm ready for anything now.And I believe that nothing can stop me virtually now.
They say,a true sadist's weakest point is his heart,I say,how could he be weak when he doesn't have one?The training is almost complete, with it,I could destroy any human desire,even love.I'll go to a point where,even when loved ones like my parents die,I wouldn't shed a single tear.Besides,I didn't shed a tear on any of my break ups.Haven't cried for so long.I think,I've already forgotten how.
Now my hatred is almost complete too.He is taking over soon.my life and every single trace of it.Hatred for christians is stronger than ever.And both of my ex steads where christians and they've failed to convert me into one.I'm stronger than ever.Nothing could really penetrate my heart anymore.Finally knew what I really desired.Your pain...is my lust.
By the way,my greatest fear was the break up.Now I've learned to Fuck Fear and coldly,what could be worst?
Who's next?
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
12:20 AMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Recently my girlfriend went back to church,she wanted answers to her unanswered questions.I was persuaded by fellow christian friends and her to go too.I know I can't make it,cause in school during chapel,I already can't take it.There seems to be a strong,angry tension over this matter.And I myself know that if I ever go to church,the anger and hatred would be even worst.but I agreed to a deal with her,if she quits smoking,I'll promise to go church and be a full time christian.And to know Christ,there are other ways un-biased ways to do so. They say to defeat your enemy is to know him inside out.Guess who knows God the best,other than himself?HAHAZ,Correct,The DEVIL.Seek the truth and you shall find.
One fate,one million ways to defy it.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
11:40 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
I've been doing much lately,have frequently been hanging out with her at her hometown Yishun.She always says she loves me,and the first thing that comes into my mind is to reply her:"I love you too."We had alot of fun together and this is the period of time that we have really bonded.This period of time is seriously crucial.I'm actually beginning to mature at a faster rate,although I'm still a boy in her eyes?At least there
was improvement.Trust me,Beloved,I will become a young man in time,you gotta trust me.I know I can do it>It is during this period of time that my love for you has deepened deeply,and I really hope you feel the same way as I do.Now my heart is in your hands,and pls,I beg of you,don't hurt it?A sadist's heart may be hard and cold,but it seems that it is still
meat.And I'm very happy to say that this relationship that we share was a very special one,and it has been your longest,and mine too>I'm glad that at least I could be part of your life.I seriously wanna be a good cause in your life as you had already been in mine.Now that I've found you,I'm not gonna give you up that easily,dear.I'll give this relationship the best and non of us is gonna regret it.I'll win your whole heart in time and non of your suitors are comin in my way.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
8:25 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
Nowadays,I sense Him being nearer to me.He's about to be unleashed.If He really was,all Hell shall break loose.I fear that I can't hold Him much longer.The last time He was released from the bottom of His cell,deep down my heart,was last year.He barely made a debut.But this time,it's different.I've hold Him inside for long enough.It's about time.Fear can't stop me now.I've long awaited to that day.Mark my words well.I mean them.Soon His destiny would be complete with Metal Music,using it as a weapon;a motivation that drives the weaker.His strength grows every sec when I think about unhappy times.Those umpteen unhappy times that I in the past,had tried to escape from.All those given by my family,friends,loved ones like Stella and Amanda.Then I figured out that it was my destiny to face them;but not alone,that I'm certain. This is this life that I share with this Beast inside of me.The tendency,the urge,the lust I hadn't felt for years,is finally beginning to take over.I've been constantly bombarded by fucked up bullshit from everyone.I mean everyone.Soon my tolerance would be to the limit.With hatred for christianity,love and everything that opposes me.All you bastards and bitches,you all will get what you all deserve.I'm not doing anything wrong,I'm just upholding justice;or retribution that is. Let me remind you this;it has been years,it is only right for me to show my true self that I've been hiding.Even a worm will turn.All of you have manipulated me for long enough,It's enough.Now what matters is who will be the final straw to everything?Amanda?Family? Friends?Frankly speaking I dont know either.But I'll be waiting.Mark my words well.
He builds his personality like how They build bombs-
9:08 PMThe Best way out,is always Through-
